There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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