I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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