white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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