and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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