I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need help removing her.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
