if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
