I wish i was in the wii world.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
