If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
