I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
