We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
