Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
