I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My dick has a subreddit
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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