She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
