Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize