I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
