I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
