im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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