What did we do last night that was yellow?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
