Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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