I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
