there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize