I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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