The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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