she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I got inside last night via doggy door
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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