It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
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