CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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