I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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