you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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