Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
