Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize