She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
