I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize