you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
