i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
