i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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