I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize