Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
