I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
