Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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