she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
