sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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