rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
