I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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