im about as happy as oj after his trial
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize