Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
