But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
