Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
