Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I need to calm my uterus...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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