cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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