a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
