whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
