Betty ford says i'm here all night
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
