It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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