Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
i black out too much to be "responsible"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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