you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize