It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
