so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I smell stomach acid.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
