I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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