They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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