It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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