the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
